What is Trauma?

Trauma is NOT the trigger, event or incident that occurred externally to one's self. It is the INTERNAL response to a situation/perceived threat which overwhelms the individuals ability to cope and can elicit fear, terror, powerlessness and helplessness, rejection, betrayal, invalidation, shock, distress, disturbance and emotional, physical and/or spiritual pain.

The lack of being seen and understood, the lack of validation can be traumatic especially in early childhood. It can diminish your sense of self and your ability to feel the full range of emotions and experiences. Trauma is stored in the body. It is ingrained in the nervous system (Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score, 2015). You can experience adverse events directly or witness them indirectly (eg. seeing a family member being physically abused) however the response in your body and mind can be the same.

PTSD and unresolved past traumas are absolutely treatable!

Generally speaking, the assumption is that everyone is doing the best they can with the knowledge and skills that they have at the time. However we are human. Because we are human we are perfectly imperfect. We are flawed. We may not mean to hurt people but we do. Everyone has trauma. Everyone experiences trauma. There is nothing wrong with you and you don’t have to be ashamed. It is the severity of traumatic experiences and the amount of intervention and support systems that vary between people.

The difference between PTSD and Complex Trauma

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Symptoms of PTSD can include:

• Re-experiencing the trauma

• Flashbacks

• Nightmares

• Unwanted or intrusive thoughts

• Hyper-vigilance/Hyper arousal

• Sleep difficulties

• Irritability and anger outbursts

• Numbing (eg. self-medicating)

• Avoidance of anything that may remind you of the traumatic event

You can have unresolved trauma and not have PTSD symptoms.

Complex PTSD

Complex PTSD generally applies to PTSD and related symptoms including depression and dissociation that originate in childhood from multiple and severe traumas, and/or from a breakdown in attachment.

Sufferers of complex PTSD may experience levels of dissociation or numbness which serves as a way to cope with threatening situations.

People with Complex PTSD will usually experience all of the PTSD symptoms outlined above and may relate to a lot or all of the responses in the above list under NORMAL RESPONSES TO TRAUMA.

Complex Trauma

Complex trauma is repetitive, prolonged and cumulative, often there is no ‘recovery time’.

Usually, Complex Trauma involves insecure attachment in early childhood in combination with abuse or trauma later in childhood (Brown and Elliot, 2018). For example, a dysfunctional relationship with the mother or father. This means you can still have a lot of unresolved trauma affecting your life in many different ways but not experience PTSD symptoms (nightmares, flashbacks, hyper-vigilance) as suggested above.

Dissociation (Parts)

We actually talk about ‘parts’ all the time. Part of us wants to go out to dinner with friends, part of us wants to stay home and watch a movie. Part of us is angry about something, but part of us understands the bigger picture. More commonly we may talk about our ‘inner child’ or our ‘inner critic’.

From a trauma lens, when we go through something that is too much for the system to cope with, we can ‘split’ into parts, referred to as dissociation. Dissociation can often be the ultimate defense mechanism in being able to protect the system from the pain and trauma associated with past memories.

Just like trauma itself, there is a wide spectrum on the dissociative scale ranging from some separation of emotional parts to extreme separation of the personality and we now call this DID - Dissociative Identity Disorder (formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder). The more severe and chronic the trauma, the more dissociative parts can be expected to exist (Solomon, Hart, Nijenhuis, 2010).

Some common symptoms of dissociation include:

• A sense of “losing time”

• Confusion

• Exhibition of two or more personalities (alter egos or “alters”)

• Feelings of detachment (dissociation)

• Memory gaps, and

• Out of character behaviour

Another symptom can be depersonalisation, which is marked by periods of feeling disconnected or detached from one’s own body and thoughts. Depersonalisation can be described as feeling like you are observing yourself from outside your body or like being in a dream.

Internal Family Systems

We are all naturally born with parts which have valuable roles, resources and talents for the ‘internal system’. Parts are not a product of trauma; this is the natural state of the mind.

However, trauma and adversities can force ‘parts’ out of their naturally valuable roles into protective roles that can be damaging and/or destructive, yet necessary to protect the system from experiencing further pain and trauma. These ‘parts’ however become ‘frozen in time’ (Richard Schwartz, Trauma Summit 2020). Sometimes these parts are known as ‘protector’ parts.

Internal Family Systems works with the different internal parts similarly like we would with external family members - working towards validating all members, developing a sense of compassion and curiosity to all parts, improving the communication between them so then they eventually all work collaboratively together and become the ‘Core Self’.

EMDR Therapy and combined Structural Dissociation

EMDR Therapy talks about:

• The ‘Apparantly Normal Part’, which is usually the adult part of us that is involved in and responsible for everyday living and functioning, and

• ‘Emotional Parts’, which are the parts of ourselves stuck in trauma time (in the past). Emotional Parts are usually younger than the Apparently Normal Part (ANP) and sometimes hold onto memories the ANP doesn’t have.

When working with Dissociation, the aim of the game, so to speak, is Integration on all levels. Through therapy, clients work on unifying their separate parts, helping the parts to share their separate memories and work together rather then against each other to eventually achieve ‘harmony in the house’. Validation and compassion for all personalities or all parts is a crucial component in this work as well as helping the different personalities or parts orientate to present moment time.

Moving forward: it’s the journey, not the destination

Recovery, healing, moving forward, finding peace - however you want to describe it. People often wonder how they can move on from their past traumatic experiences and achieve a better quality of life.

Post-traumatic growth (PTG) is a theory that explains this kind of transformation following trauma. It was developed by psychologists Drs Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun in the mid 1990s and holds that people who endure psychological struggle following adversity can often see positive growth afterwards.

However, you can’t rush into PTG! You don’t want to invalidate or disown the parts of you that aren’t ready or haven’t processed the past traumatic experiences. It may take time. There are signs to look out for to show that you are moving in this direction, such as:

• Appreciation for life

• Improved relationships with SELF and others

• Seeing new possibilities in life and for your future

• A sense of personal strength, and

• Spiritual growth and change (whatever this may look like for you)

In other words, people start to ‘thrive’ not just ‘survive’. They can find a sense of meaning and purpose in their lives.

Moving forward from trauma is not a linear process. It is more like a continuous and ongoing spiral. It’s a journey of self discovery, peeling away layer after layer of thoughts, feelings, emotions, negative core self beliefs, body sensations, conditioned responses and reactions.

Effective trauma treatment and recovery should be based on a holistic approach addressing body, mind and soul work. This usually includes some of the following:

• Gratitude

• Journaling

• Awareness of and allowing difficult thoughts and feelings to arise

• EMDR Therapy and Combined Structural Dissociation

• Learning to describe body sensations

• Grounding techniques

• Trauma informed Yoga, Meditation and Mindfulness practices

• Art, music and dance

• Moving the body (physical exercise of some kind)

• Breathwork

• Regular massages

• Spiritual practices (whatever that may mean to you)

• Healthy eating and nutrition

• Connection with others

• Building and utilizing support networks

• Practicing assertive communication

• Setting healthy boundaries, and

• Practicing self-care

The relationship you build with yourself, your loved ones and the world around you now becomes based on compassion, love, understanding, validation, hope, and connection.

Pain doesn’t mean trauma for someone if someone else is around to hold them, receive them and validate them (Gabor Mate, Trauma Summit 2020). Recovery involves intervention, support, validation and having time to process the traumas.