Mindfulness and Meditation
Someone once asked the Buddha, “What have you gained from meditation?”
He replied, “Nothing, but I have lost anger, frustration, anxiety, depression, insecurity and fear of old age and death”.
How I can help
I teach meditation, mindfulness and breathing techniques and also guide you through formal meditation practice. I also support you to overcome the common barriers that can be experienced when first starting out with meditation, and help you stay on track and committed to your practice.
I will also join you in this practice. I actively engage in regular meditation practices and can support you in all levels of meditation. From beginner level to well-experienced, I will be with you throughout your journey to offer education, support, resources and tips that I have learned along the way. This is an important part of preparation for EMDR Therapy, parts and trauma work.
What’s the difference?
Mindfulness is moment-to-moment AWARENESS, whilst meditation is the formal practice.
Mindfulness
John Kabat-Zinn has defined mindfulness as “the awareness that arises from paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment and non-judgmentally”.
So, how does this help?
Mindfulness gives you a PAUSE button. It helps you develop your ‘Observing Self’ so you are able to:
THINK before you SPEAK
ACT before you REACT, and
Become more aware of your thoughts, feelings and behaviours.
Mindfulness helps you to take charge of your mind, not the other way around.
Does your mind control you? Do your difficult thoughts, feelings and behaviours drive your life bus? Do you feel you are in the back seat of your life, just going along for the ride?
I can teach you what mindfulness is and how it can help improve the quality of your life.
Meditation
Meditation is the formal practice of mindfulness, where one sits, lays down and/or rests in a comfortable position for a period of time and intentionally practices a form of meditation.
There are many types of meditation practice, including:
Progressive muscle relaxation
Breathing meditations
Sound meditations
Guided imagery and visual meditations
Body scanning meditations
Loving kindness ‘Metta’ meditation
Meditation is a highly research- and evidence-based technique that can help reduce many different forms of suffering, including:
Stress
Emotional reactivity
Anxiety
Depression
Anger and frustration
Self-judgement
Judgement and blaming others
Lack of focus and concentration
The ORDINARY becomes EXTRAORDINARY by incorporating regular mindfulness and meditation practices in your life.
“When you do nothing, everything begins to happen.”
Travis Elliot, Ultimate Yogi
Common experiences when learning to meditate
“There is so much information and so many types of meditation out there now - it’s overwhelming and I don’t know where to start.”
Keep it simple! Think about your PURPOSE. What are you trying to achieve? To achieve quality sleep, try sleeping meditations. To achieve a pleasant, relaxing experience, try guided or visualisation meditations. To REWIRE your brain and RETRAIN your attention, move away from being on ‘auto-pilot’, and develop a sense of self-compassion - to acquire a level of equanimity - more regular and formal meditation is required.
“I can’t do meditation - I have too many thoughts!”
Everyone has ‘too many thoughts’. The latest research shows humans have around 70,000 thoughts a day! The mind is designed to think, to problem solve, to find problems and create solutions as a survival mechanism, and for self-protection. However, it can be extremely frustrating when we experience unhelpful ‘rumination’, i.e. thinking and thinking and not getting anywhere. If you notice your thoughts, notice how many and what type of thoughts you have. Developing awareness of your thoughts is the first step to meditation.
“Meditation makes things worse, my thoughts increase and my frustration builds.”
When you start meditating, initially you may notice your difficult thoughts or experience some difficult feelings arise. This can be normal to start with. The key is practice, patience and persistence.
Like any new skill, it takes time to develop your skills and patience with the process. Meditation is teaching you to be able to sit with your difficult thoughts and feelings thus ultimately teaching you emotional self-regulation, distress tolerance and impulse control. Who needs more of this?
“Meditation is boring! I’m not in the mood for it!”
Yes, sometimes meditation can feel boring. As a society we have become addicted to stimulation. Like a young child who has just been given a bed time, or training a puppy to sit, initially they won’t be able to stick to their new boundaries. You may experience boredom, frustration, irritability and/or impulsivity, however eventually you will experience the IMPERMANENCE of thoughts, emotions and body sensations. With patience, love and compassion, you will be able to sit a little longer, your mind will stay focused a little longer and just like the puppy - you will learn not to chase after little distractions!
“Do I have to sit in lotus position like all the Yogis? It hurts and I’m in pain.”
No, you don’t. Let’s try to make meditation practice a ‘want to’ rather than a ‘have to’. Find a comfortable position and try your best. Go easy on yourself. If you want to sit in a chair, lie down, sit on the couch, then do so. Get comfortable and then try to limit movement.
If you are going to move, that’s fine, just move consciously and mindfully so as not to disturb your practice. If you are going to lie down, understanding that it’s easy to fall asleep, which is why many people prefer to sit during their meditation so they stay awake and alert during their practice.
“I just don’t have time to meditation - I’m too busy.”
Buddhist Monk Tenzin Palmer says, “the busier you think you are, the more meditation you need”.
Busy-ness is an illusion. We have become deeply conditioned on a societal level to be machines of productivity. As Brene Brown states, “we wear our exhaustion and busy-ness like badges” but this is not sustainable. This is why worldwide we are seeing more mental health issues, stress, diseases and addictions because people are so busy they have lost their sense of meaning and purpose. We have become DISCONNECTED. Meditation teaches us to slow down, reconnect with ourselves, reconnect with our sense of humanity and oneness with others. Meditation improves our sense of CONNECTION.
“I exercise. Isn’t that the same as meditation?”
Regular exercise is ideal. We all need to find some form of exercise we find enjoyable as movement is a key component to overall health and wellbeing. But let’s be clear, exercise is not the same as meditation!
Think of it like this. Exercise builds the muscles in your body and keeps you physically fit and healthy. Meditation builds the muscles in your brain and keeps your brain and mind fit and healthy.
Meditation gives you psychological flexibility, increases your focus and attention, improves your memory and will actually prevent Alzheimer’s Disease and Dementia. We need to exercise both mind and body.
Recommended resources
Headspace App
The Headspace App is a mindfulness app that is great for beginners to mindfulness and meditation. It is user friendly and you can sign up for the FREE option. If you want to - you can subscribe to unlock access to a wider library of guided meditations in the areas of: sleep, anxiety, self-compassion, depression, etc.
Mindbell App
Over the past 7 years, everyone who has ever worked with me knows about my “Mindbell”. Mindbell is a fantastic app which simply chimes the sound of a Sound Bowl how ever often you want it to. You can set it to every 5 mins, 10 mins or just once every hour and just use this chime to Stop, Pause, and take a Deep Breath.
Middle Way Meditation
Middle Way Meditation is a meditation technique which focuses the mind to the centre of the body. To train our mind to be still, it can be more effective to focus to a still point.
Vipassana
Vipassana meditation is a specific style of meditation with the purpose of developing equanimity. Equanimity is the absence of craving and aversion, the ‘non-attachment’ to pleasure or pain, the ability to simply OBSERVE rather then judge your reality in a way that causes further struggle and distress.
The Buddha never taught a sectarian religion; he taught Dhamma - the way to liberation - which is universal. In the same tradition, Mr Goenka's approach is completely non-sectarian. For this reason, his teaching has a profound appeal to people of all backgrounds, of every religion and no religion, and from every part of the world.